remembrance by Tom's parents, Dick and June Defore, read during the service by high school friend Barry Rinehart.

We have been overwhelmed by the loving caring response of Tom’s friends and our family these past few days.  We want to share more about him as he grew up, and how he came to have such a full life.

From the time he was three, Tom had friends from diverse backgrounds, cultures and ages.  He made us proud when a third grade teacher told us he respected girls and women at school equally with boys and men, seeing no difference in what one or the other could achieve.

His tendency to seek adventure and travel was fostered early.  He was born in Durango.   When a week old we visited the Four Corners area, at ten days we took him to Mesa Verde.  When he was two weeks old, we moved 600 miles to Nevada.  In Tom’s first year, we lived in all four time zones in the continental U.S.  Our family lived in six states, including three occasions in Colorado.  Whenever we moved to a new community, we took advantage of what each area offered… parks, national monuments, museums, and cultural events.  We were able to move back to Colorado more permanently when he was in sixth grade, and lived in Boulder until he started college and we moved to Pueblo.

Tom’s love of nature was fostered by his grandmother who knew the names of all the wildflowers in northern Wisconsin, and by his mom and dad who shared their knowledge about the trees and types of rocks in different locales.  His mother kept a list of birds she saw, indicating when and where she first saw them, and Tom joined her in this interest.  When he was with us, he always saw things with new eyes, while we waited for him to get the perfect film image of a small wildflower, a a young fawn in the woods, or the breathtaking sunrise and sunsets discovered in our great Western horizons.

Tom’s media interests were a natural outcome too.  His mom and dad met through radio station connections in Minnesota.  Later, his dad taught radio, television and film production in various locales.  His dad also directed high school plays.  And before our marriage, we both were active in behind-the-scenes production with little theater. 

Tom’s interests in music started as a youngster when he tried to direct along with Leonard Bernstein during television’s Young People’s Concerts.  We exposed both our children to all forms of music, including classical, jazz, popular, and ethnic music found in the areas where we lived. We also took them to “live” concerts and musicals.  Tom started playing his grandfather’s violin in third grade because he would have had to wait until fourth grade to begin lessons with the French horn. 

As his friends you have grown to appreciate Tom’s interest in foods.  As a toddler, he assisted his mom in the kitchen with cookie baking.  He helped with soufflés and blueberry jam as a youngster, made divinity with his friend Nagesh in junior high, and always participated in our adventures with ethnic foods — although there was a time when all his snacks were milk  and Cheerios, and while in college, he had too much top ramen!   Lately, in fall and winter, he has taken over the baking of the Harvest Loaf, one of our family traditions.  When he visited us, he always had a new and exciting food or recipe to share, some that he made up as he went along, or had stirred up with available ingredients.

Tom’s overwhelming kindness seemed to come so naturally.  In the early 90s when his mom  was very ill in the hospital, he sat with her each day, answering to her needs.  He did the same for his dad following surgery three years ago.  The last time he was with his 97-year-old grandmother he cut her fingernails.  His nieces and nephews and young cousins always looked forward to having fun with him.  He was “Uncle Tom” to all youngsters.  His family visits were never often or long enough. 

As an adult, Tom has introduced us to new music experiences, showed us new hiking trails, and opened our eyes to new photographic experiences and proved what a loving caring person he is.  He could be very frustrating and too introspective at times…but still, as his mom and dad, we could not have been more blessed by any son.

Tom’s passion for travel, love of the outdoors through camping, hiking, climbing and photography, his career in film, music, food adventures, and just being Tom --- how many of us have had a life so full?!    --- So Here’s to Tom’s Life…and to His Love.